Surviving Ryanair with kids - not so eco friendly

Biding time in the airport with a travel trunkie

After experiencing one of those horribly hostile Ryanair journeys en route to our manufacturing partners in Portugal, I decided the time was nigh to purchase a new wheelie suitcase which would abide by Ryanair's strict carry-on luggage requirements, after all - Ryanair are not going to go away - they are omnipresent; 'If you can't beat them join them', as they say. Recession of not, they fly us at Old Rectory to Porto direct from Dublin and this is where we print hundreds of metres or fabric and have our children's clothing made. So with the bitter taste still fresh from paying an on-the-spot €30 fine for a carry-on-bag which I could have wedged in the metal box given half the chance, but at first hesitation was growled at to 'PAY FINE NOW, PLEASE'; and still wallowing in extreme annoyance of being told my liquids bag was bigger than the regulation one which I then had to purchase, without further adieu I decided to discard my old trustee bulging red case for a slimline Samsonite - gosh this trip was costing more that I'd bargained for. Check list for the future; tick 'no' to pretty much everything when booking online; add one of those very useful hand held luggage scales to this years Christmas list if there's a fiver to spare on each trip - pay for priority boarding and enjoy the ride - wishful thinking I'm sure but no harm in dreaming.

So when my husband and I decided to book a last minute flight to Spain and decamp by a pool for one week with our 5 children, it was with fear and trepidation that I agreed to fly with Ryanair - the first time ever for us to travel Ryanair en masse. I was breaking my secret cardinal rule that I'd never travel Ryanair with the children....

First off, with two hours to spare we checked our one bag in successfully; air hostess was very cordial and friendly; no hidden surprises, bag was under 20 kilos.

Next up, get through the scanners - not too bad; requisite de-belting, buggy folding, body frisking, older boys already impatient at my lagging behind as I must put back on belt, shoes, watch, hair slides, bangles etc.

Quick trip to the pharmacy to get a pack of nappies for the toddler. Shoot, no nappies in boarding area. They have a tight-fit pack of no. 3 nappies on other side of scanner but can't go through that palava again. No bother, we've already decided that we'll ask an unsuspecting parent very sincerely if they have a spare nappy that they might give us; with that idea settled on we relax and make our way to the food lounge.

Feeling the first 'travel high' we get slightly carried away and treat ourselves to the waiter-sevice-restaurant - just like the good old days, 'even thought we could do a bit of plane spotting from a comfortable looking corner booth but this we realise is an optical illusion on our behalf - we're looking onto a roof and storage area.

I announce gleefully that the Eggs Benedict look delicious (can't see them anywhere, only on the menu and in my mind's eye), which prompts the twins to order these also. Kind of know they might be disappointed after my building them up but feel the boys need to make small choices for themselves etc. 

After half an hour of hauling the toddler off the middle of the table and deciding that the kids should avoid the piles of hollandaise sauce smothering the eggs (thinking travel motion and heavy sauce might not be the best combination) I finally admit that I wish we'd found a McDonalds - my 11 year old thinks I'm bonkers and cool at the same time. 

En route to gate 107 I get diverted and admire/try on sunglasses, promising to meet others at the gate in a few minutes; I have to admit here that I embark on a purchase; a half price pair, guaranteed to protect sensitive eyes and reduce hay-fever symtons; a practical pair my husband would be proud of - he might even borrow them so I have every good reason to purchase. At this stage, my phone's buzzing, visa machine being sniffy with my debit card; shall I bottle out now and say I don't want to take them; card goes through; I have to leg it unashamedly all the way to 107 without stopping; the new wheelie is suddenly aerodynamic. 

Greeted at 107 by inconsolable 5 yr old who is convinced we will be separated on the plane as we have missed the priority boarding slot - don't like to tell him that he's probably right but we put on our best weary-parent faces and don't encourage him to stop crying.  Well here's the happy part of the story, with out any prompting from us, a really friendly air hostess confidently inquires as to how many of us there are and endeavors with success to seat us all together.

Truly Scrumptious is packed to the rafters with sweets.

Rewind to the not-so-long-ago days of halcyon travel when all was calm and convivial up in the skies, I would have brought books, colouring pencils, games and snacks galore for the children on board but now a sharp nibbed pencil could cause you mortification at the gates. Sure this time, we hadn't even a spare nappy for the toddler, I think we knew we'd never ask a stranger for one but twas worth pretending we would just to enjoy our meal. No, all I really had to hand for the boys were 2 Michael Morpugo books for the older lads and some sweets from Truly Scrumptious - an amazing nostalgic sweet shop in Wicklow, that's packed to the rafters with jars of every type of sweet - old favourites and new flavours - a regular haunt for every young dweller and visitor in town.

Truly Scrumptious Lollypops

Our sweets tasted all the more better for their clandestine journey on board. Scrolling through at least a years worth of photos and videos on my iPhone with our sticky fingered toddler, who only wanted to see about five photos of the same thing repeatedly we managed to stay sane and I decided that Ryanair wasn't that bad after all.